Top Ten Signs You Need a New HMO

	10. When you visit, they sing, "We're in the money, we're in the money..."

	9. They have one hypodermic for each patient...and use it every year.

	8. The x-ray machine is an intern with a flashlight.

	7. No-one speaks English.

	6. The date on the medicine bottle does not was printed before 
		the "new" laws took effect.

	5. They take your temperature and ask you drop your pants first...

	4. You have a severe coronary, and they give you an appointment in two weeks.

	3. The podiatrist is the same guy who loaded your bags at the airport.

	2. The diplomas on the wall are all from a local high school and include 
		a 7th grade science project award.

	1. Patients check in, but you have not seen anyone leave...

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